misc jokes
Favorite this joke When buying an old second-hand car always insist on getting one with a heated rear window.
That way, in winter you can warm your hands while you're pushing it.
"You want us to do WHAT?"
- Ancient Chinese wall engineer.
Q: How do you scare a man?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
A: Women working at 900 numbers.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him.
Q: Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
A: No phone numbers.
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and one leg is shorter than the other."
"That's why it's such a bargain," the salesperson replies. "But don't worry, if you just raise your left shoulder, bend your left knee and walk like this, no one will notice."
"Well.....okay."
The man then buys the suit; after putting in on in the changing room, he raises his left shoulder, bends his left knee, then proceeds to limp out of the store. As he walks down the street, two ladies notice him.
"Good Heavens," the first lady says. "That poor man looks like he's in a lot of pain!"
"Yes," the second lady says. "But his suit certainly fits well."
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