misc jokes

Let's all pray that Jamaica isn't the first country to get plagued by the zombie epidemic.

Cause the last thing we need is zombies that can run at 100mph.

Two rectangles were having a heated debate when they arrive at an utter stalemate. Along comes a circle, so they ask her to decide which one of them are right.

The circle listens intently and replies with silence.

The two rectangles demand of the circle, "Who's side are you on?"

The circle replies, "I'm sorry, but I don't have a side."

I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody!"

A man is buying a suit from a local tailor. "I need to warn you," he says, as the tailor is taking his measurements. "That I won't be able to pay for this suit for three months."

"That's quite all right, sir," the tailor replies.

"By the way," the man asks, "when will it be ready?"

"In three months."