misc jokes

A Shaolin monk, a great philosopher and a priest were walking down a country road and came upon a young farm boy. At that moment the four of them looked up to see a chicken crossing the road.

The question arose, why does the chicken cross the road?

The Shaolin monk said it’s the destiny of the chicken to seek its own path.

The great philosopher said its action teaches a lesson in the ways of nature much like life itself.

The Priest said it’s because it follows the plan of our maker under his divine rule.

Just then the young farm boy spoke up, "Actually, it’s because I left the chicken coop door open."

I don’t like it when some clown in a cowboy hat comes up and starts asking me personal questions. My name and where I’m from is none of their business.

Then they ask random questions like, "How many fingers am I holding up?" or "Do you remember the name of the bull you were riding?"

A journalist was interviewing a European frog attending an American Football game.

Q. Do you enjoy American Football?
A. Yes, but I prefer Cricket.

Q. I see, you prefer Cricket over Football is that correct?
A. No, I prefer cricket over popcorn.

A teenager invited his girlfriend over to Sunday dinner to meet his parents for the first time. He warned her that his mother can be strong willed and very critical of his friends.

She replied, "Don’t worry, I can hold my own. I’ll nicely put her in her place if need be."

After dinner the teen asked his girlfriend why she hadn’t stood up to his mother. She answered by saying, "I’m not worried about her, it’s the horde of flying monkeys that must be waiting outside that bothers me."