misc jokes

A robbery took place in Milwaukee. A witness was being interviewed by a policeman. The policeman asked the man if he had lived in Milwaukee all his life.

The man replied, "No, not yet."

One day I was driving with my boyfriend and we saw a sign that said 'Can Food Drive'...

I told my boyfriend, "I don't know if all food can drive but I have seen nuts behind the wheel!"

Wife mouse asks husband mouse how he’s able to bring home so much food...

He answered by saying, "I’m a gentleman mouse. I always bring someone with me and when we find food I say, 'you first.'"

I took a tumble down the stairs twice last week...

Apparently that’s how I roll.