misc jokes
Favorite this joke A woman walks into a store that sells expensive rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman.
"Hello M'am. How may I help you today?"
Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir, how much does this rug cost?"
He answers, "Well, you broke wind just touching it. I'm anxious to see what happens when you hear the price."
A fantastic new series of billboard ads are now displaying along several highways, encouraging drivers to slow down. The billboards read:
Being "Mister Late" is always better than being the "Late Mister".
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well.
He comes to see Adam and says to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command. She will be beautiful and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg."
Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What can I get for a rib?"
A man goes into a patent office. He tells the clerk that he’s invented a baseball bat that dings when you hit the ball.
The clerk yells into the back room, "Hey Frank, it’s your turn, we have another 'ding bat'!"
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