misc jokes

When you look in the mirror, it reflects...

Don't you ever wonder when it 'flected' the first time?

Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was appendicitis.

Mrs. Johnson explained that the appendix is on the right side.

"So, aha! THAT's why it hurts to much." said Jacob. "My appendix is on the wrong side!"

Q: If you're stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would you most want to have?

A: Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a gold medal on a stick.

I live across the street from a crematorium.

What I want to know is, why do they have a delivery truck drop off marshmallows every morning?