misc jokes

A man was reading on social media that apparently it’s unattractive to wear socks with sandals. He told his wife about this, who quickly said. “Honey use your head, we’re going to the museum of natural history today; lets pass on the missing link photo opportunity.”

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns behind his ears...

I just think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.

Three teenage boys were taking a short cut across a church lawn. In perfect view was a large sign which read: Stay off the Grass.

The caretaker yelled to the boys from the gardening shed, "Hey, can't you read?"

The boys paused, looked at each shrugging. Then one of them looked at the sign, still baffled. He cupped his hands over his mouth to form a loud speaker and yelled back, "So who's smoking?"

A little old lady was driving the wrong way down a one-way street and was stopped by a cop.

“Didn’t you see the arrows?” he asked.

“Arrows? I didn’t even see the Indians!” she exclaimed.