misc jokes

Why were the Indians here first?

They had reservations.

A window, a toilet bowl and a colander (strainer) were arrested for some serious crimes and were brought to police headquarters for interrogation. After the detective was through with his questioning, he was met outside by the news media.

"We hear that they all had alibi's," asked one of the reporters. "Why didn't you believe the window's story?"

"I saw right through it!"

"What about the toilet bowl?"

"His alibi stunk!"

"And the story the colander gave you?"

"It was full of holes!"

What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

The same middle name.

Steve, Bob and Jeff are working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off. He is killed instantaneously. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.

After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replies Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me."
"WHAT?" exclaims Jeff. "You just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack?"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.

"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'Are you Steve's widow?'
'Widow?' she said, 'No, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'
So I said, "I'll bet you a six-pack you are."