misc jokes

A Native American gentleman was at the local home improvement store purchasing a few bags of gardening soil. As he waited in line to pay for his bags of dirt, a guy behind him spoke to him. "You gonna do some planting?"

The Native American man turned to him and, with a very serious face, said, "No, I am buying my land back one bag at a time and I am getting a receipt this time."

The shocked look on the guy's face was priceless.

You can never lose a homing pigeon... even if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, all you've lost is a pigeon.

An ardent traveler named Joan spent most of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a swimsuit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly started when she heard someone running up the stairs. Joan was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered hotel manager, out of breath from dashing up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the manager. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."