misc jokes

One toy says to another: "My life is spiraling out of control!"

"What do you expect? You're a TOP!"

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine, who is not so bright. He asked if I knew what the buzzing was for?

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Without missing a beat, he responded, "What are blind people doing driving?"

I took on a car pool rider so I could use the diamond lane. She’s a twenty year old blonde, but after all these years her seams are giving out, so I’ll need to buy a new one.