misc jokes

Toy Disclaimers you have probably never noticed...

1. Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.

2. Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.

3. Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.

4. No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.

5. Some dismemberment may occur.

6. In case of breakage, scream until Dad buys a replacement.

7. Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.

8. Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.

9. Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.

10. Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.

There were three men on a hill with their watches. The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke. The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.

The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it. The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.

The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow."

I just saw an ad on the New York City subway that read...

“Learn to read and speak English. Call us now!"