misc jokes
Favorite this joke I saw a contractor's truck that offered free quotes.
So I asked for one.
He said, "To be or not to be, that is the question."
Enticed by a television promotion, my wife ordered a popular exercise machine on a 30-day trial offer.
Two weeks later she decided not to buy it, and called UPS to arrange for pickup.
The next day the UPS driver arrived at our house. "Oh, no, not another one of these," he said. "All I've been doing is delivering these machines, then picking them up. The only person getting exercise from these things is me!"
In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time.
"For example," he said, "take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she'd do in today's version of the contest?"
The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, "Not very well."
"Why is that?" Asked the professor.
"For one thing," the student pointed out, "She'd be way too old!"
Judge asks the defendant, “Why did you steal that car, Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones looks down, “I just had to get to work for an important meeting.”
The judge keeps asking, “Well why didn’t you take a bus?”
Mr. Jones looks up, surprised, “Don’t you need a special license to drive the bus?”
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