Best Jokes

Wife: "You remember when you bought me this blue dress?"

Husband: "I don't remember."

Wife: "It was on my birthday! And this red gown?"

Husband: "On your birthday?"

Wife: "No... on our anniversary! Don't you remember?"

Husband: "Honey, I'm not good at remembering colors or dresses. I better at remembering prices, those I remember very well!"

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, "I'd like large bills, please."

She looked at me, confused, and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

Michelle: I hear you broke off your engagement to Rob. Why?

Irina: It's just that my feelings toward him weren't the same any more.

Michelle: Are you returning the ring?

Irina: No way! My feelings toward the ring haven't changed one bit!

How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.