A woman walked into a library and wondered whether they had any books about paranoia.
The librarian replied, “They’re right behind you.”
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today."
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"No, the regular kind."
A man was lying in a hospital, covered in bandages from head to toe. The guy in the next bed said, ”What do you do for a living?”
The bandaged man replied, “I used to be a window cleaner.”
“Oh, when did you give that up?”
“About halfway down.”
To succeed in life, you need three things...
A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.