Best Jokes
Favorite this joke City boy, visiting his cousin's farm: "Say, why doesn't that cow have horns?"
Country cousin: "There are many reasons why a cow might not have horns. Some grow horns late in life, some have them removed, some might lose them in an accident, and then there are certain breeds who simply never grow horns. This cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse."
A man was walking down the road when suddenly, a masked man jumped out from behind a bush and yelled, "Give me your money!"
"I have no money, I'm just a poor bookseller," the man replied. "Here, take my wallet and see for yourself." Upon looking inside the man's wallet, the bandit indeed finds it empty and walks off, grumbling to himself.
The next day, the man was walking down the street when the same bandit accosted him. "Give me your money!" he exclaimed. The man showed the bandit that he still didn't have any money and the bandit left again.
The next day, the man was walking down the road when the bandit approached him again. Growing annoyed and more than a little bit perplexed, the man said, "Look, you know who I am and that I have no money, so why even bother with me?"
The bandit replied, "I'm still practicing and you don't seem to mind very much."
Matt: "It's times like this that I wish I'd listened to what my Dad always said."
Jake: "What did he say?"
"I don't know, I wasn't listening."
She: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."
He: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
She: "True, but I do."
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