Best Jokes

In the far distant future, in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the universe were having a convention on a far distant galaxy. Two beings were seated next to one another when they struck up a conversation.

"Where are you from?" the one asked.

"I'm from Alpha Century," he answered. "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Earth," was the answer.

"I know someone from earth," the Alpha Centurion said. "His name is John Smith. Do you know him?"

A young man enters a bar and sees a beautiful lady at the counter. He moves closer to her and starts a conversation.

Man: "Hello beautiful..."

Woman: "Hi."

Man: "My name is Solomon."

Woman: "So?"

Man: "Lomon."

A man came to the farmers market and asked for two carrots. He got two carrots, put them in his ears, and left. The second day he came and did the same thing.

The third day he came and the salesman said, "Sorry, we don't have carrots. We only have cucumbers."

So the man bought two cucumbers and put one in each of his ears. The salesman had enough and asked, "Hey, how come you put those cucumbers in your ears?"

The man replied, "Because you didn't have any carrots."