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Favorite this joke Woman customer in restaurant: "I'd like a margarita please."
Waiter: "I'll need to see your ID."
Customer (giggling while showing her ID): "You think I look like a teenager?"
Waiter: "No. I thought you qualified for our senior citizen discount."
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.
"Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children."
"That's what you think," the man laughed. "I'm the father of THREE children."
The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think!"
What did the vet say when Schrodinger went to pick up his cat?
"I have good news and bad news..."
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels.
The crew's foreman calls the office and tells his supervisor the situation.
The supervisor says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels... just lean on each other until they arrive."
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