Best Jokes

It's time for me to get a new masseuse...

The one I have now just rubs me the wrong way!

A young secretary in my office was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had on her vacation. She then asked her boss for two weeks leave in which to get married.

"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"

"What, and ruin my vacation?" she whined.

Why did the doctor carry out blood tests on the secretarial candidates?

So that he could eliminate type-O's.

Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called “One Two Three”, the other “Un Deux Trois”.

Which cat won?

“One Two Three” because “Un Deux Trois” cat sank.