I thought my new girlfriend might be the one...
But when I went through her drawers and found a nurse's uniform, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I changed my mind.
I figure if she can't hold on to a job, she's not the one for me.
An emergency call: "Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!"
Operator: "Where?"
Caller: "No, a regular one!"
Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?
Olive.
You've heard the song.
"Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.