Two pastors died in a car accident and were immediately taken up to heaven by an angel.
As they were approaching heaven, they saw how beautiful it was and one of them asked the angel, "What the hell is that?"
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!"
Caddy: "I don't think so, sir, that would be too much of a coincidence!"
The definition of a "gimme" in golf can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...
Neither of whom can putt very well.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie.