A man with authority walks into a bar.
He orders everyone a round.
I've cut down on my drinking. I now have one large whiskey before I go to bed…
Last night, I went to bed six times!
She: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."
He: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
She: "True, but I do."
How can you tell if a sniper likes you?
He misses you.