Me: *Tells joke to wife*
*Silence*
Me: *Repeats joke to wife*
Wife: “Oh no, I heard you.”
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Doris.
Doris, who?
Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!
Teacher: I hope I didn't just see you looking at Harry's paper, Raymond!
Raymond: I hope so too, teacher!
"How's the new turkey you hired on as temp IT Assistant?"
"Well, she's good at de-bugging, and works for chickenfeed. But her typing is atrocious--all she can do is hunt & peck."