misc jokes
Favorite this joke 2014: Didn't jog.
2015: Didn't jog.
2016: Didn't jog.
2017: Didn’t jog.
2018: Didn’t jog.
2019: Didn’t jog.
2020: Still haven’t jogged.
This is a running joke.
It always irked my mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.
Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six!
She was so excited, she bought two!
Two years ago a man and woman had just won the lottery. He was at work when the lottery office phoned their home to inform them of the win. His wife was very worried because the man had just recovered from a heart attack and she wondered what would happen if he found out about it too abruptly.
So, she called the pastor and asked if he could talk to the man and slowly lead into telling him the news. He agreed and said he would be there as soon as possible. When the man got home the pastor asked if they could go for a walk. While they were walking the pastor began by asking, "What would you do if you won the lottery?"
The man replied, "Why, I'd give it all to the church."
The pastor dropped dead on the spot.
Ralph was towing his boat home from a fishing trip in Jamaica Bay when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."
A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location."
"I-95, two miles south of Cranston."
After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
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