misc jokes

A New Yorker noticed a guy in a cowboy hat and boots standing and staring at Niagara Falls.

Figuring he must be a Texan he walks up beside him and says, "I bet you don't have anything like that in Texas do ya?"

The Texan replied, "No sir, we don't. But, we have a plumber in Waxahachie that can fix it!"

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.

Her first student was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "The other librarian we had could write..."

As an maintenance man in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture that had static lines going through it and was very fuzzy.

I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the heck, I struck the side of the TV with the heel of my hand. The picture became clear returned to normal.

"Look, honey," said the wife to her husband. "He went to the same repair school as you."