misc jokes

From a store clerk:
"The computerized cash register is down. I'll just add up your purchases with a pencil and paper."

"I'll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers."

"We're sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We'll pick it up at your home and bring you a new one or give you a complete refund, whichever you prefer."


From my doctor:
"Of course I'll come by your house to check on you."

"Give me a call at home over the weekend if you're not feeling better."

"Sure, come on by this afternoon, we'll work you in."

"I'll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test."

"Here, take these samples."

"Don't worry about it, there's no charge for that."

"I recommend you get a second opinion."

Yellowstone tourist: "Look at all those big rocks! Wherever did they come from?"

Yellowstone guide: "The glaciers brought them down."

Tourist (cluelessly): "But where are the glaciers?"

Guide (wearily): "The glaciers ... have gone back for more rocks."