misc jokes
Favorite this joke The official glossary to running late...
"On the way..." - Still in bed.
"In the car..." - In the shower.
"GPS says 35 min..." - Getting ready.
"There's traffic..." - Leaving the house.
"Parking now..." - 15 minutes out.
"Can't find a spot..." - 5 minutes out.
"Walking in..." - Looking for a spot.
One morning at a small-town newspaper office, one of the editors was struggling to write a headline for the obituary of a woman who was noted for little besides a fondness for crossword puzzles.
"What am I supposed to write?" the editor whined. "She liked puzzles?"
Just then one of our copy editors piped up, "How about, 'Crossword fan is now six down.'?"
An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall.
The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?"
Bohr chuckled, "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"
A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel. Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.
"Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?"
"No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?"
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