misc jokes

A balding man went into a barber’s shop and asked how much it would be for a haircut.

“Twenty-five dollars,” said the barber.

“Twenty-five dollars, that’s crazy!” exclaimed the man. “I’ve hardly got any hair. How can it be that expensive?”

The barber explained, “It’s $5 for the actual cut and $20 for the search fee.”

Two DIZZY type ladies were discussing the big hole in a street as every day somebody fall in it...

Dizzy A : We must find a solution cause every day some one is dead and the nearest hospital 20 Km.

Dizzy B : I got it, we build a new hospital beside the hole.

Dizzy A : It will take 5 - 10 years to build a hospital. After that everybody will be dead. I got a great solution... we close that hole and open another one beside the nearest hospital!

Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into the ex-President. "Hello," Bush said. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

Moses took one look at the President, turned and ran in the other direction. The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.

Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.

Moses said, "The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert."

A man was determined to win the state lotto. He bought lotto tickets every week for years with no results. Then, one day in a flash of inspiration he realized that he would have to change his name in order to win the lotto. The next day he when to the courthouse and officially changed his name to 'Somebody'.

Out of curiosity the clerk who was doing the paperwork asked why he had chosen 'Somebody' as his new name.

"Well," he replied, "I wasn't having any luck with my old name, but everyone knows that eventually, Somebody always wins the lotto!"