misc jokes
Favorite this joke Two ladies are walking to their local County Fair, when it starts to rain. One says to the other, "Put your umbrella up, it's raining."
"I can't," says the other, "it's got holes in it."
"Holes in it?" the first lady asks. "Why did you bring it with you?"
The response, "I didn't think it would rain."
The morning of the big parade, a man and a little boy entered a barber shop together. "Give me the full treatment," the man said. "I want to look good in the parade!"
After the man received a shave, manicure, and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a new tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was done and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "It looks like your daddy forgot all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, "Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!"
I am overjoyed! Soon I will be able to payoff all my loans and at last be debt free.
I'm on my way to the bank, thrilled to know that in a very short while I will finally have all the money I need to begin enjoying life for once.
I am so excited I can hardly get my ski mask on!"
A fellow was given a dirty old lamp for his birthday. He cleaned it up and POOF, out popped a genie!
The genie said, "I shall give you three wishes. You may have anything you like."
The guy thought for a minute and said, "I would like a billion dollars."
"You shall have it," said the genie and he granted him the wish. "Anything else?"
The guy thought for a while and said, "I would like a VW Bug with A/C, power locks, power windows, an incredible radio, you know - and all the works!"
"Your wish is my command," said the genie, making the dream car appear. "What is your last wish?"
"Hmmm. I think I'll save it for a rainy day," answered the birthday boy.
"OK, suit yourself," replied the genie. "I'll wait and listen, ready to answer."
The happy guy got in his new car and drove off to show all his friends. As he turned on the radio, a familiar commercial came on and he began to sing along, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener..."
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