misc jokes

A starving artist was discussing his recent painting for a local museum.

"Was it hung?"

"Yes, near the entrance where everyone could see it."

"Congratulations! What was it?"

"A board saying, 'Keep to the left'..."

A man waiting for a bus held his hands about four inches apart. He got on the bus l, and when the driver asked for his fare, the man told him to take the money out of his coat pocket. The driver did as he said and drove on.

The man walked to the rear of the bus and sat down, still holding his hands in the same position. A woman passenger turned to him and asked, “Excuse me sir, are you alright?”

“Yes I am, thank you,” he replied.

“Then why are you holding your hands like that?”

“Because I’m on my way to a hardware store and I need a piece of pipe this long.”