misc jokes

“Everyone in the bus,” the bus driver shouted so he could close the live bus door and pull away from the curb.

“No,” a female voice called. “I’m not inside yet. Wait until I get my clothes on!”

Everyone in the bus turned to catch a glimpse of the woman. She finally managed to get on the bus—with a large basket of laundry.

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.

"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," the caller said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

The other day I got carded at the liquor store. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out.

The clerk shook his head and said, “Never mind,” and rang me up.