misc jokes

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.

"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."

"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman. "But think of how surprised I am, I'm her mother!"

The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time.

A fellow passenger looked at him and said, "Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat's whisker and still be fresh. Look at you, panting away."

The young man took a deep breath and said, "I missed this train at the last station."

What’s the matter with your wife, she looks upset?”

“She got a terrible shock.”

“What was it?”

“She was assisting at a rummage sale at the church. She took off her new $20 hat and somebody sold it for 50 cents.”