misc jokes

My neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana.

I guess my property line isn’t where I thought it was.

In the far distant future, in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the universe were having a convention on a far distant galaxy. Two beings were seated next to one another when they struck up a conversation.

"Where are you from?" the one asked.

"I'm from Alpha Century," he answered. "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Earth," was the answer.

"I know someone from earth," the Alpha Centurion said. "His name is John Smith. Do you know him?"

A man giving a long-winded speech finally says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."

A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you."