Best Jokes

I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.

“Hi, Miss Butcher,” I said.

“Hi, Eddie,” she replied.

“So you do remember me?” I asked.

“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but you definitely leave a lasting one.”

Teacher : Which is the oldest animal?

Student : The zebra.

Teacher : How come?

Student : Because it's still in black & white.

A beer is like the sun...

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist!

Don’t ever pay a surprise visit to a child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my son’s campus during a business trip.

Locating what I thought was his fraternity house, I rang the doorbell. "Yeah?" a voice called from inside.

"Does Dylan Houseman live here?"

"Yup," the voice answered. "Leave him on the front porch. We’ll bring him in later."