Best Jokes

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest..

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

Bob: How are we going to sing tonight with these colds?

Charlie: I’ll sing solo and you sing tenor!

Bob: Solo? Tenor? What in the world are you talking about?

Charlie: I’ll sing solo, so low that I can’t be heard! You sing tenor, ten or twelve miles down the road!

Why do astronauts use Linux?

Because you can't open windows in space.

My wife is incredibly smart.

When I called her from my buddy’s phone she answered, “Hey love!”

She already knew it was me.