Best Jokes

Patient: "Doctor, can you tell me what are your fees?"

Doctor: "For the 1st visit I charge $2000 and the 2nd visit is free."

[The patient then decided to lie.]

Patient: "Doctor, this is my second visit."

Doctor: "In that case, please continue taking the medicines that I had prescribed on your first visit."

Doctor: "I have your MRI results."

Patient: "Is my brain functioning normal?"

Doctor: "No. Half your brain is clogged with usernames and the other half is clogged with passwords.

I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

"Hard drive?" he asked.

"No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop."

I tried cooking with wine for the first time.

After five glasses, I forgot why I was in the kitchen.