Best Jokes

While shopping at the mall, my husband and I became separated. I went out to the car, but realized I didn't have the keys. I went back into the store where we'd been to look for him.

The woman in charge of the carts smiled knowingly. "Finished before your husband I see," she said. "Well, I have three men waiting over there on the bench... take one. It should all work out even at the end of the day."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Phillip.

Phillip who?

Phillip my bag with Halloween candy!

After our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out he was a high school classmate of my husband's, a man named Love. He said to ask for him the next time we had any problems.

The following year, when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from my job to be there.

After he finished repairing our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. On it was written my name and the scheduling instructions: "Wants Love in afternoon."

Why do all witches wear black?

So you can’t tell which witch is which.