Best Jokes

Me: "Do you know the difference between a bag of oranges and an elephant?"

You: "No."

Me: "Well, I am not sending you to the store for a bag of oranges then."

A woman walks up to a bartender and asks for a Double Entendre, so he gives it to her.

A man was on the very top diving board of a swimming pool. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, “Don’t dive. There’s no water in that pool.” “That’s all right,” said the man. “I can’t swim.”

The flight attendant was pointing out to passengers that their seats could be removed and used as floatation devices. One woman, on her first flight, said, “I’d prefer to be sitting on a parachute!’