Best Jokes

For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe leaving your car unlocked at a church parking lot on a Sunday! Apparently NOT.
Anyway, I got 4 iPhones and 6 Tablets.

Me: "Do you know the difference between a bag of oranges and an elephant?"

You: "No."

Me: "Well, I am not sending you to the store for a bag of oranges then."

A woman walks up to a bartender and asks for a Double Entendre, so he gives it to her.

A man was on the very top diving board of a swimming pool. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, “Don’t dive. There’s no water in that pool.” “That’s all right,” said the man. “I can’t swim.”