Best Jokes

Q: Who were the first people on Earth?

A: The Indians, they had a Reservation.

Q: What did the guy say when he walked into the bar?
A: Ouch.

A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

String
A string walks into a pub and sits at the bar. the bartender looks at the string and says " we don't serve your kind here ". The string getting upset slams his hand on the bar and yells " GIM ME A BEER ". The bartender looks at the string and says " Hey ! We don't serve your kind here ". The string, really upset, slams his hand on the bar, spilling all the beers on the bar, yelling at the top of his string lungs " I SAID GIMME A BEER ". The bartender getting frustrated with the string throws him out of the pub. The upset string, leaving the pub passes a rope. The string turns to the rope and says " Hey, I'll give you five dollars to tie me into a knot and fray the ends ". The rope looks at the string and says " you will give me five dollars to tie you into a knot and fray the ends ". "ya ya " the string says, " I'll give you five dollars to tie me into a knot and fray the ends ". the rope taking the five dollars, ties the string into a knot and frays the ends. The string who is now tied into a knot with the ends frayed, walks back into the pub. The string slams his hand down on the bar and yells " GIMME A BEER ". the bartender looks at the string and says " We don't serve your kind here ". The string getting upset at the bartender, slams his hand on the bar, spilling all the beers on the bar, yelling at the top of his lungs " I SAID GIMME A BEER ". The bartender looks at the string and says " Hey, your that string I threw out of here ". the string yelling back at the top of his lungs " NO I'm a-frayed-knot