Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons?
“He wanted to be a hentertainer.”
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards.”
Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?
A: It depends on the age.
A man went into his dentist to see why his dentures kept decaying rapidly on him.
The dentist looked at his dentures and remarked, "This is very odd, they look like something's been eating them. Is there anything different that you've been eating lately?"
The man thought for a bit and said, "Well, my wife has been making a lot of eggs benedict recently with hollandaise sauce."
"Ah!" exclaimed the dentist, "That's it. I know just what you need. I'm going to order you some new dentures with plates made out of chrome."
"Chrome?" exclaimed the man incredulously, "Why Chrome?"
"Because, There's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise"
("There's no place like home for the holidays")