A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.
"Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
Yo' momma is so fat...
She smokes a turkey after sex instead of a cigarette!
Johnathan asked his young son, "Greg, do you think I’m a bad father?"
"My name is Andrew," replied his son.