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Favorite this joke I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything!
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Rolls Royce.
“Wow,” I said. “That’s an amazing car.”
He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year!”
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?
My Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Wife just broke up with me over my chronic gambling addiction...
... But it's okay, I'll win her back.
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