Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A bishop, a judge, and a conductor were discussing their careers and got into an argument about which of them was the greatest.
The judge said, "When I step into the courtroom, everyone stands to pay me respect."
The bishop said, "They stand? I have people kneel before me and kiss my ring."
To which the conductor replied, "Ha! I got you both beat. When I step on the podium people look down, cover their eyes, and say 'Oh my God!'"
Changing Resolutions...
2010: I will get my weight down below 160 pounds.
2011: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 180 pounds.
2012: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2013: I will work out every day.
2014: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week and eat fewer cookies.
There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 19...
His name was Constant-Teen.
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a new computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "will you buy me a new computer?"
Free Daily Joke