Best Jokes

My neighbour banged on the wall at 430am this morning!

Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.

They banged and shouted, "Can we have a little respect please?"

I shouted back, "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this one’s for you!"

There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...

I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

I used to come here all the time with my ex.

Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin!