Best Jokes

My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One weekend he cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.

At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, "Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put Mommy in jail."

He looked at me, thought a moment, then asked, "How long would you have to stay?"

The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I'm giving everyone a check for $5,000!”

Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.

“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks!”