Best Jokes

Nurse: "How old are you?"

Patient: "None of your business."

Nurse: "But the doctor must know your age for his records. Please, just tell me, I'm going to find it out anyway."

Patient: "Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?"

Nurse: "Yes. Fifty."

Patient: "All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?"

Nurse: "Zero."

Patient: "Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age."

A three year old, WIDE EYED, little girl, was on the phone, "I KID YOU NOT! This guy in a white dress or robe tries to drown me! He puts me under water and my family just stood there taking pictures."