Best Jokes

Do you know how long Grandfather Clocks have been around?

Since the beginning of time...

Two sailors got off their battleship after seven months at sea. As soon as they walked on solid ground they saw a lady walking away from them about fifty yards ahead.

Her long blonde hair caused one sailor to muster the courage to say "hello". As she turned around they could see she was at least eight months pregnant!

The wide-eyed sailor quickly apologized, "Sorry Ma'am, we thought you were alone."

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man. He complained about everything. One day he went to the creek with his mule and as he went, he complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death.

At the funeral, as men walked by, the wife shook her head "yes". Every time women walked by, she shook her head "no".

The minister asked, ''Why are you shaking your head 'yes' for men and 'no' for women?''

Her response was, ''When the men walk by saying how sorry they feel for me, I respond saying, 'Yes, I'll be alright.' When the women walk by, they keep asking if the mule is for sale."