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Favorite this joke Accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes...
Heinz-sight is not 20/20!
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "It makes sense, don't you think? After all I married the wrong man."
"That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!"
"Who was it?"
"Rick O'Shea."
A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad," she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk to the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
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