Best Jokes

$10.00 won 4 votes

Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

4 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
4 votes

A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for "lights out" and the cell-block becomes dark nearly silent.

Eventually, a voice from across the cell-block cries out "twenty-two!" and everyone breaks out into loud and prolonged laughter. A little while later another voice calls out "forty-one!" and again the entire cell-block enjoys a hearty laugh.

The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what this is all about. The cellmate replies that they have been in prison so long that rather than tell the same jokes over and over, they have assigned numbers to them as a more efficient way to tell jokes. The new prisoner asks if he could give it a try. His cellmate says, "Sure, why not tell number eighteen!"

No response whatsoever, not even a snicker. The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what went wrong. The cellmate replies, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke."

4 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

A husband who has been working out as per his new years resolution says to his wife, "Honey, I think I took on too much for a beginner. I've decided to break up my workout."

"Oh?" his wife asked, "How's the new work-out divided up?"

The husband confidently replied, "Half for you and half for me."

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "CMatthewC" |
4 votes

A mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip. They are sipping coffee and chatting. Suddenly, the mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming, "It's already 3 pm! I'm about to miss my train!"

She begins to put her coat on in a hurry. At this moment the son-in-law's six-year-old daughter runs up to her and before her dad can do anything, she says, "Don't hurry Granny, Daddy set the clock two hours ahead."

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |