Best Jokes

Husband: "I want to tattoo your name on me. What do you think, shall I do it on my arm or neck?"

Wife: "How about on your will?"

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.

As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."

He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a department store.

Clerk: What do you do for a living?

Man: I’m a tree trimmer.

Clerk: So what do you do after Christmas?

In the Moreno Valley (Calif.) Recycler:

"Homing pigeons free to good home. Must live far, far away."