misc jokes

From my auto mechanic:

"That part is much less expensive than I thought."
"I've never seen anyone maintain their car as well as you do."
"You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."
"It was just a loose wire. No charge."

From my son's preschool teacher:

"Everyone misbehaved today except Michael."
"Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks."
"I wish we had 20 Michaels."

Doug was describing a 30 pound bass he'd caught recently after fighting it for three hours.

Bill interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish. You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds."

Doug replied, "Well . . . a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting."

It is said that "it is always in the last place you look".

Well of course!

Are there some people out there who keep looking after they find it?